All my Adventures Over The Last Six Months
Today marks my 6 month anniversary of living within the community in my own flat. I left Mitford on the 7th February 2020. I honestly cannot believe how fast 6 months has flown by, it’s been a whirlwind of a journey with many happy moments and special times. There have been negatives but as the saying goes “you can’t always have sunshine without rain”. The blips I have had have been less and I have managed to control them. I realised what I was doing and stopped myself before they got severe. I have been able to deal with these using the strategies I learnt at Mitford. My amazing support team Orbis has been fantastic in helping me to use strategies and keep the momentum of my recovery going.
Back in October, when my transition from hospital to home started becoming real, I remember being so scared. I had so many questions and doubted things would work out, I was scared I was not going to cope. The whole thing felt alien to me and I never believed I would survive the community. Here I am, standing tall and thriving. I believe it was the transition plans and the extensive training about me, my autism and my formulation which I helped to deliver to my new team, that has made this all possible. My WRAP plan has been a big part of my recovery and helps me to manage on a daily basis. There are never going to be enough words to be able thank team Mitford and how they have helped me to come this far.
The past six months have been such an adventure. I’ve had my ups and downs and thankfully the majority of my time in my own home has been happy and meaningful. The blips I have had, I have dealt with and not let them explode into something bigger. It took me a while to fully accept I am in my own home and that it was not going to be taken away from me. I was so scared that having a moment would put me back into hospital. The reassurance from Orbis has helped me to push through these thoughts. I am now fully accepting of the fact my flat is mine and that I deserve this happiness. I have now started to save money and buy some new furniture to fully put my own stamp on things
Throughout the six months of living in the community, I was hit (as we all were) with lockdown due to COVID19. This came as quite a shock, as it has meant that my transition of managing to go out by myself has come to a temporary standstill. This has increased certain anxieties of moving back into community life, all the plans I have, have not been lost by lockdown. It just means things have slowed down. Even though lockdown has been stressful, it has also been rather soothing. What everyone has lived through over the last 3 months, all the restrictions and anxieties etc I lived through for 11 years within hospital settings, with even worse effects such as restraint and abuse. I was accustomed to living with entertaining myself in my own space, so in a sense half of my six months in the community have been pretty similar to hospital, yet without the majority of the restriction’s hospitals have placed on me. I have been in my own environment, with a core team of staff that have helped me maintain my stability. Lockdown has given me time to settle in my own environment, without the many outside influence’s that would cause me to become overloaded.
The sense of freedom over the last six months has been phenomenal. It is so nice to be able to do the things I want to, when I want to and how I want to, without having to make plans for them to happen. This included requesting leave or having to stick to section restrictions, or only having so many hours leave and needing to get permission to have leave in the first place. I have enjoyed many adventures such as: beach trips, shopping, cinema, bowling and eating out. The whole sense of freedom in doing these things is amazing, not having to worry about time, being able to relax in my own environment without having to constantly please others, not having to listen to others struggling. Its simple things like being able to stay in my PJ’s all day that make the community so rewarding and keep me going strong on a daily basis. It’s hard to imagine that I ever lived like I did whilst in hospital.
6 life changing moments about leaving hospital:
Not having to sleep on a plastic mattress
Having hot showers is a luxury (I’ve only just managed to bear a higher water temperature)
Being able to drink, eat and cook with proper utensils that are not plastic
Having my own space and a home that I can call my own
Having a toilet seat
The freedom of not having to follow rules and being able to do things on a whim and how I want to do them, without having to ask permission to go places and establishing my own routines so they suit me putting myself fully first
I had my first birthday in my own home in April. It was tinged by lockdown but I still had an amazing day celebrating. I had a couple of drinks, which is another freedom I have enjoyed. I am yet to go out to celebrate this fully as I am waiting for Lockdown restrictions become more relaxed.
I have enjoyed working at St Oswald’s shop in North Shields, this has allowed my social interaction to progress and integrate back into the community. It is such rewarding work; it gives me purpose and routine and helps me progress my skills in a productive way. Everyone at work has been so supportive of my needs and they are all really friendly.
In March I attended the Tyne met open event for catering. I have now enrolled onto level 2 diploma in catering and hospitality. This follows on from the level 1 course I did in wales in 2011, and is something I have wanted to pursue since a young age following in my grans and mums’ footsteps. I was absolutely over the moon when I was told I had been accepted onto the course. I am so excited about starting college in September, so many new possibilities are waiting for me, the chance to make more friends, a whole career path. It amazes me every day that I will be able to do all of these things, something I had given up on long ago because I never thought I would ever cope. It’s going to be hard, it’s a new challenge but I am willing to take the reins with both hands and succeed. I know now that I have extensive coping strategies, I know how to manage when I am overwhelmed and my ever changing WRAP plan continues to support me along with team Orbis.
My work as an expert by experience worker is ever growing. I have been involved in a lot more projects which are helping to improve services for LD, autism and mental health. I am so passionate about helpings others in similar situations, I would never want anybody to have to go through what I have been through. Throughout lockdown I have joined Speak Up self-Advocacy. This has helped massively throughout such difficult circumstances. I do a daily zoom call with the group and weekly quizzes. I have recently been asked to write some articles for them which I am looking forward to. I have joined the CNTW involvement bank and have recently been involved in the North Service User and Carer Forum within CNTW. It was great to see a familiar face from a previous hospital admission I have been following her blog http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/ regularly and it has really put into perspective how well we have both progressed . I am in the process of coproducing some autism training with another service user who also has autism. In September I will be helping to cochair a CPD event on autism with CNTW
The last six months have been super rewarding and I honestly cannot believe how far I have progressed. I know I still have far to go but I am ready with open arms to face whatever may come my way. I am now feeling so comfortable living in my own place, yes there are days I may be more anxious than others, but I know how to deal with these days and what I need to do to get through. It’s mad to think I had so many fears and anxieties about moving forward but I now feel I have overcome. I am looking forward to so much more fun and laughter over the coming months and all new adventures and personal progress I will continue to make.